STUCK!! OK, whats the first thing you think of? being physically unable to move? yea, probably the first thing a lot of people would think of too. Being stuck for me is an emotional feeling, an emotional state of mind that goes far beyond an adjective. Ever felt so stuck within your four walls, within your environment, within the thoughts of your own mind or even worst, within your own skin?.... an unsettling feeling that seems impossible to shake off. Sometimes life has a way of being so overwhelming and over bearing its hard to see past your current situation. Hard to see past the present. "No situation is permanent" is something that has been ringed into me by my sister growing up but how can we ever be sure of whats temporary and whats permanent? there isn't a crystal ball that can give us the answers. At times I am left to wonder if all these sayings and riddles are just made up verbs to get people through the day. Something to hold on to.
I would like to believe I am very ambitious but being ambitious can also come with a price tag, one I am not so sure I have a bank balance for at times. I have dreams, very big dreams, I read somewhere once "if your dreams don't scare you then they aren't big enough", well I think it is safe to say my dreams come in the largest size available, if I am honest with my self, nothing scares me in life more than my dreams, nothing else keeps me awake at night. I can not speak for anyone else other than myself but as focused as you may be, as hard working as you may be, as many sacrifices you may make for your dreams, there is always a niggling thought as the back of my mind, the thought you aren't allowed to say out loud, the thought that shouldn't come with the "dream promotional pack".... "WHAT IF IT NEVER HAPPENS"... What if it is all in vain,what if you wake up 30 years from now and all your hard work and determination was all for nothing? what then? Like they say, the dream is free but the hustle is sold separately. It is the elephant in the room that is unlikely to be mentioned, it's the norm not to think or speak of it. As a child you are taught hard work pays off but the older you get you learn nothing in life is guaranteed and no one owes you a darn thing. Harsh but true. You read success stories all the time of folks that worked hard their whole lives but didn't becomes successful till very late stages in their lives. For example Vera Wang's career didn't take off till she was 40 and Stan lee's first comic hit was at the age of 39. Again I can only speak for myself but examples like those are my worst nightmare. I am the type of "I know what I want to do with my life and I want it NOW!!" kinda gyal. Do you ever give up on your dreams? and if so when?
Our minds have been automatically programmed to believe we are supposed to have things in ordered and have our lives figured and mapped out by a certain age or at a certain stage in our lives. Most people aren't afraid of growing old or older, they are afraid that they haven't achieved what is set out for them by society. Who makes these rules and why do we allow it? What chance do we ever give ourselves if we are constantly running against a scheduled set out not by ourselves but by society. Most of us have a tendency to believe we must have our lives together by 30 and when that seems unobtainable or your greatest aspiration seems so far out of reach against an ever going ticking clock, we start to panic and become overwhelmed with the strain of the pressure of it all.
Everything is a process, a journey. An example of the top of my head would be travelling. I love travelling,one of my favourite things to do but I hate flying. I suffer from anxiety attacks and on one of my travels I have had my head stuck in a paper bag the whole journey. No pun intended. I hate the planning, looking for flights and hotels, the waiting, airports ( hate airports) checking in, losing luggage or worse having to part ways with items that can't go through airport security and etc, the list is endless but when all that is done you are on the flight and you don't have a clue what lies ahead, you have no idea what is waiting for you on this unknown territory you are about to enter but you still make the journey anyways and most times, you have the best time ever. You learn about new culture, you have time to clear your head, do things and activity that you might never get a chance to do at home but most important, you get to live a little, take risks ( you have no idea what is in that beautiful sea but you get in anyways ( even if you can't swim, guilty) and go outside your comfort zone for a rewarding experience. Life is exactly the same process, the same journey, it may not be as mapped out as booking a holiday but its all a process. I have learned that nothing great ever happens within your comfort zone, take it from someone who has had to psychically drag herself out of her comfort zone (kicking and crying that is). Nothing is guaranteed in life but you owe it to yourself to try. Going back to what I said earlier. I will leave you with this thought. What if you wake up in 30 years time and it has all been in vain? BUT what if you wake up in 30 years time wishing (or better yet, thanking yourself) you started 30 years ago?
Have a great week guys
X
