This post is from a view of a mere observer (myself), a mixture of personal experience and what I have witnessed from those around me from friends, family and even mere acquaintance. I think it is safe to say love is not what it used to be. From traditional values being thrown out of the window to commitment becoming less and less valued in our evolving generation, we as people are becoming more and more emotionally uninvolved with one another. We get into a relationship thinking if it doesn't work out there's always more fish in the sea, rather than sticking it out and working through issues. Whilst there are still a small amount of people who still hold commitment with great values, truth is, commitment is just not what it used to be. Relationships end just as soon as they begin and I cant help but wonder why? As a generation we are always in a rush. Everything is in such a fast pace, whilst our priorities have gotten mixed up along the way. Although I don't believe everything should happen in a set order and there's is no right or wrong method to love, I certainly believe building a basic foundation is something that should not be overlooked. Nowadays people are getting intimate with each other without actually knowing one another. Flings, one night stands and casual hooks ups are beginning to take over the idea of actually taking your time and building a life with one another. It goes back to me saying earlier, nobody actually wants to be emotionally invested anymore and casual hook ups are the easier option. People get into relationships without wanting to be emotionally attached and the possibility of being heart broken takes over the fact that something wonderful could eventually happen. We are constantly waiting for something to go wrong instead of thinking something could go right.
While chivalry certainly isn't dead, we must admit to ourselves that it has become increasingly scarce. Men being men and holding the door open or pulling out the chair for you has become so rare that when it does, its astonishing to find such an individual when in actual fact it should be a norm. It makes me wonder why something that should be so basic and fundamental has become so rare? We live in a world where pride has taken over. It isn't that chivalry is dead, it is because men are refusing to look like wimps and softies because of fear of rejection or fears of humiliation from peers. Most men think women don't appreciate an act of chivalry so they chose not to. This is also an issue. why do we do what we are naturally suppose to do in return for recognition? I don't think the problem is that women don't appreciate chivalry, women aren't used to it anymore. We live in a world where feminism is fast taking over and men are forgetting to be men.
One thing that is always niggling away at the back of my mind is why are we so afraid to let things be the way they are suppose to be? Why cant we just go with the flow and let things happen? Through my observations, something that repeatedly comes up over and over is doing a background check. We want to know all about someone before actually getting to know them. In reality it makes no sense but it is something most people do subconsciously. In most cases, before a first date has even happened we know so much about a person from every possible source apart from the actual person. Like the fast track queue at Thorpe park, we want to skip the getting to know each other stage whilst deceiving ourselves thinking we are getting to know each other. Social media also plays a big role in the dating world. We look for clues about a person based on what they post on Instagram or what they tweet and the kind of people they follow, thinking these clues will give us an insight as to who they are. What we fail to realise is social media is only a speck of the actual picture. We have made social media such a big deal in our lives and become so dependent on it, that we forget there is still a big wide world outside those double taps and tweet button or Facebook news feed. Truth is people only show you what they want you to see on social media. People can be anything or anyone they want so why do we take it as gospel? There is a new term in the dating world known as the "CRB". This is doing background research on a person, the same way an employer would for an employee before deciding whether they deserve a chance or not. Doesn't this just defeat the purpose?
There will never be a quick solution to love and dating but I do believe many old traditions need to surface again, If it worked back then, there's no reason why it shouldn't work now. Go on dates, ask more questions, leave social media alone and get rid of the "CRB" and who knows you might just find your Mr Big.
XO
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