Hey Folks,
I know I have been away for a while and after being hounded over and over again about my next post, I decided to make the time and write this post. Apologies for my absence. My blog really is just an outlet for myself to get my thoughts out and I do forget that there are actual human beings out there who enjoy reading what I have to say and take time out of their day to read my blog. I do want to post more regularly but it is very difficult to make that promise because I am so busy most of the time and I write when I feel I have something to write about. I do want to do more posts about my outfits, but it's finding the time to take the pics and finding someone who has time to entertain my diva antics while trying to get the best shots. Enough babbling and I'll get on with today's post.
Although the title gives away the content of this post, I will be covering a few things. If you read most of my posts, then you should be able to tell, I write from what I see around me and how people think and function on a daily basis. Most of us are on social media, whether it be Facebook, Instagram ( My personal fave), Twitter, Tumblr , Snapchat or even dating sites such as Tinder ETC... Being the observer that I am, I have noticed a few things; as human beings we all want to present the best version of ourselves to the world. That really isn't a problem. It really isn't, After all we only show what we want the world to see. right? but as for every thing, I believe in limits and that is where the problem is. We live in a generation of "We Want It Now". No one wants to start from the bottom. In the club it is so easy to scream along with drake saying " we started from the bottom now we are here" but how many of us are really "here"? how many of us are really where we want to be? ....I am not saying it is bad to envision where you want to be but at the same time it is important to understand nothing happens over night. Drake wrote that song because he probably is where he wants to be but as the lyrics states he also started from the bottom. It is so easy to admire other people's success while not even giving a thought to the struggles it took to get there. So many people are ashamed of their struggles because on; Sarah's Instagram she looks like she has made it. Maybe Sarah is struggling just as much as you are. Ever given that a thought? or better yet, maybe Sarah has been through the struggles that she needed to go through in order to get to where she needs to be today. Every individual's journey is different and that is the beauty of life. Just because it takes you longer to get somewhere does not mean you have failed in life.
We are so wrapped up being materialistic, we forget what really matters. Every one wants to be at the top of the career ladder but those steps are in place for a reason. Why do we admire people just because of what is on the outside? Brands and designer labels does not automatically equal wealth but so many people seem to have that confused. There was a debate a few months back on twitter and I was dumbfounded at the things I was reading. We have people that genuinely believe getting on public transport means you are poor and having the latest season designer on means you're rich or come from a place of wealth. You just have to laugh at the ignorance of it all. So if Sally saves most of her income but Maxine runs off to Selfridges as soon as pay day hits but has nothing to show for it for the rest of the month, does that make Maxine more successful than Sally? I would like to think the answer was obvious but it clearly is not. How many Maxine's do we know? Personally I am very weary of the company I keep so I don't know that many Maxines but I know of them. They are everywhere. I really do believe social media has a big role to play in this. You log in and you see people in the latest Balenciaga's and the latest Hermes and Louboutins ( everyone's fave) and you want a part of it, all the sudden that £50 shoe from Topshop doesn't quite do it for you anymore and you "think" maybe I'll treat myself to a pair, I do work hard after all. The problem is that this habit is so easy to birth and can easily take over. Before you know it you are going into your overdraft to keep up appearance because that designer pair you spent your last penny on is "so last season" now and you need a new one or you walk past Selfridges and that new Prada bag just has your name all over it. Do brands validate who you are as a person? I also think knowing yourself plays a big part. I do believe it is harder to succumb to social pressure if you know who you are and are confident in your skin. Impressing others, especially people you don't know should be the least of your priorities. I can be covered from head to toe in high street brands ( and a few of my bargains from the market) and I refuse to look down on myself or think the next person is better than me or more successful just because they have on more expensive clothes. Who I am as a individual and as a woman will never be justified by just what I have on or what car I have or even what my bank balance is. Any of those things can get taken from me in a blink of an eye but I remain me.
There is beauty in your struggle. Beauty in the work you put in. Beauty in your ambitions and knowing one day you will have every thing you have worked for. The ambitions. The sacrifice. The sleepless nights and even the unknowing of what tomorrow brings. There is beauty in it all!!!! As long as you see past the surface and understand the struggles are temporary and not permanent. If you didn't have to work that bit harder to achieve something, what weight does it hold? So many things in my personal life that I achieved last year were so hard and seemed so unobtainable to me at one point but all the struggles I went through makes it so much more valuable to me than if it was just handed to me. Who knows, I would probably take those things for granted. I used to wonder as a child why things didn't seem to just fall into my lap like it did for every one else around me? why did every thing take ten times longer in my case? but the older I get, I am starting to find the beauty in my struggles, it gives me a story. It has helped shaped the kind of woman I am today. The kind of woman that is willing to work hard for every thing she wants in life. The kind of woman that expects nothing to be handed to her. The kind of woman that doesn't give up at the first hurdle. The kind of woman that can hold her head held up high, knowing every thing she has is from the merits of her own hard work. The kind of woman I am proud to be. I don't have it all but I have my ambitions and my determination and I know that will take me far. So what else do I really need?... That's the beauty in my struggles.
What Is The Beauty In Your Struggle ?
Tuesday, 28 July 2015
Tuesday, 27 January 2015
Stuck!
STUCK!! OK, whats the first thing you think of? being physically unable to move? yea, probably the first thing a lot of people would think of too. Being stuck for me is an emotional feeling, an emotional state of mind that goes far beyond an adjective. Ever felt so stuck within your four walls, within your environment, within the thoughts of your own mind or even worst, within your own skin?.... an unsettling feeling that seems impossible to shake off. Sometimes life has a way of being so overwhelming and over bearing its hard to see past your current situation. Hard to see past the present. "No situation is permanent" is something that has been ringed into me by my sister growing up but how can we ever be sure of whats temporary and whats permanent? there isn't a crystal ball that can give us the answers. At times I am left to wonder if all these sayings and riddles are just made up verbs to get people through the day. Something to hold on to.
I would like to believe I am very ambitious but being ambitious can also come with a price tag, one I am not so sure I have a bank balance for at times. I have dreams, very big dreams, I read somewhere once "if your dreams don't scare you then they aren't big enough", well I think it is safe to say my dreams come in the largest size available, if I am honest with my self, nothing scares me in life more than my dreams, nothing else keeps me awake at night. I can not speak for anyone else other than myself but as focused as you may be, as hard working as you may be, as many sacrifices you may make for your dreams, there is always a niggling thought as the back of my mind, the thought you aren't allowed to say out loud, the thought that shouldn't come with the "dream promotional pack".... "WHAT IF IT NEVER HAPPENS"... What if it is all in vain,what if you wake up 30 years from now and all your hard work and determination was all for nothing? what then? Like they say, the dream is free but the hustle is sold separately. It is the elephant in the room that is unlikely to be mentioned, it's the norm not to think or speak of it. As a child you are taught hard work pays off but the older you get you learn nothing in life is guaranteed and no one owes you a darn thing. Harsh but true. You read success stories all the time of folks that worked hard their whole lives but didn't becomes successful till very late stages in their lives. For example Vera Wang's career didn't take off till she was 40 and Stan lee's first comic hit was at the age of 39. Again I can only speak for myself but examples like those are my worst nightmare. I am the type of "I know what I want to do with my life and I want it NOW!!" kinda gyal. Do you ever give up on your dreams? and if so when?
Our minds have been automatically programmed to believe we are supposed to have things in ordered and have our lives figured and mapped out by a certain age or at a certain stage in our lives. Most people aren't afraid of growing old or older, they are afraid that they haven't achieved what is set out for them by society. Who makes these rules and why do we allow it? What chance do we ever give ourselves if we are constantly running against a scheduled set out not by ourselves but by society. Most of us have a tendency to believe we must have our lives together by 30 and when that seems unobtainable or your greatest aspiration seems so far out of reach against an ever going ticking clock, we start to panic and become overwhelmed with the strain of the pressure of it all.
Everything is a process, a journey. An example of the top of my head would be travelling. I love travelling,one of my favourite things to do but I hate flying. I suffer from anxiety attacks and on one of my travels I have had my head stuck in a paper bag the whole journey. No pun intended. I hate the planning, looking for flights and hotels, the waiting, airports ( hate airports) checking in, losing luggage or worse having to part ways with items that can't go through airport security and etc, the list is endless but when all that is done you are on the flight and you don't have a clue what lies ahead, you have no idea what is waiting for you on this unknown territory you are about to enter but you still make the journey anyways and most times, you have the best time ever. You learn about new culture, you have time to clear your head, do things and activity that you might never get a chance to do at home but most important, you get to live a little, take risks ( you have no idea what is in that beautiful sea but you get in anyways ( even if you can't swim, guilty) and go outside your comfort zone for a rewarding experience. Life is exactly the same process, the same journey, it may not be as mapped out as booking a holiday but its all a process. I have learned that nothing great ever happens within your comfort zone, take it from someone who has had to psychically drag herself out of her comfort zone (kicking and crying that is). Nothing is guaranteed in life but you owe it to yourself to try. Going back to what I said earlier. I will leave you with this thought. What if you wake up in 30 years time and it has all been in vain? BUT what if you wake up in 30 years time wishing (or better yet, thanking yourself) you started 30 years ago?
Have a great week guys
X
I would like to believe I am very ambitious but being ambitious can also come with a price tag, one I am not so sure I have a bank balance for at times. I have dreams, very big dreams, I read somewhere once "if your dreams don't scare you then they aren't big enough", well I think it is safe to say my dreams come in the largest size available, if I am honest with my self, nothing scares me in life more than my dreams, nothing else keeps me awake at night. I can not speak for anyone else other than myself but as focused as you may be, as hard working as you may be, as many sacrifices you may make for your dreams, there is always a niggling thought as the back of my mind, the thought you aren't allowed to say out loud, the thought that shouldn't come with the "dream promotional pack".... "WHAT IF IT NEVER HAPPENS"... What if it is all in vain,what if you wake up 30 years from now and all your hard work and determination was all for nothing? what then? Like they say, the dream is free but the hustle is sold separately. It is the elephant in the room that is unlikely to be mentioned, it's the norm not to think or speak of it. As a child you are taught hard work pays off but the older you get you learn nothing in life is guaranteed and no one owes you a darn thing. Harsh but true. You read success stories all the time of folks that worked hard their whole lives but didn't becomes successful till very late stages in their lives. For example Vera Wang's career didn't take off till she was 40 and Stan lee's first comic hit was at the age of 39. Again I can only speak for myself but examples like those are my worst nightmare. I am the type of "I know what I want to do with my life and I want it NOW!!" kinda gyal. Do you ever give up on your dreams? and if so when?
Our minds have been automatically programmed to believe we are supposed to have things in ordered and have our lives figured and mapped out by a certain age or at a certain stage in our lives. Most people aren't afraid of growing old or older, they are afraid that they haven't achieved what is set out for them by society. Who makes these rules and why do we allow it? What chance do we ever give ourselves if we are constantly running against a scheduled set out not by ourselves but by society. Most of us have a tendency to believe we must have our lives together by 30 and when that seems unobtainable or your greatest aspiration seems so far out of reach against an ever going ticking clock, we start to panic and become overwhelmed with the strain of the pressure of it all.
Everything is a process, a journey. An example of the top of my head would be travelling. I love travelling,one of my favourite things to do but I hate flying. I suffer from anxiety attacks and on one of my travels I have had my head stuck in a paper bag the whole journey. No pun intended. I hate the planning, looking for flights and hotels, the waiting, airports ( hate airports) checking in, losing luggage or worse having to part ways with items that can't go through airport security and etc, the list is endless but when all that is done you are on the flight and you don't have a clue what lies ahead, you have no idea what is waiting for you on this unknown territory you are about to enter but you still make the journey anyways and most times, you have the best time ever. You learn about new culture, you have time to clear your head, do things and activity that you might never get a chance to do at home but most important, you get to live a little, take risks ( you have no idea what is in that beautiful sea but you get in anyways ( even if you can't swim, guilty) and go outside your comfort zone for a rewarding experience. Life is exactly the same process, the same journey, it may not be as mapped out as booking a holiday but its all a process. I have learned that nothing great ever happens within your comfort zone, take it from someone who has had to psychically drag herself out of her comfort zone (kicking and crying that is). Nothing is guaranteed in life but you owe it to yourself to try. Going back to what I said earlier. I will leave you with this thought. What if you wake up in 30 years time and it has all been in vain? BUT what if you wake up in 30 years time wishing (or better yet, thanking yourself) you started 30 years ago?
Have a great week guys
X
Friday, 17 October 2014
DATING AS IT IS TODAY!
This post is from a view of a mere observer (myself), a mixture of personal experience and what I have witnessed from those around me from friends, family and even mere acquaintance. I think it is safe to say love is not what it used to be. From traditional values being thrown out of the window to commitment becoming less and less valued in our evolving generation, we as people are becoming more and more emotionally uninvolved with one another. We get into a relationship thinking if it doesn't work out there's always more fish in the sea, rather than sticking it out and working through issues. Whilst there are still a small amount of people who still hold commitment with great values, truth is, commitment is just not what it used to be. Relationships end just as soon as they begin and I cant help but wonder why? As a generation we are always in a rush. Everything is in such a fast pace, whilst our priorities have gotten mixed up along the way. Although I don't believe everything should happen in a set order and there's is no right or wrong method to love, I certainly believe building a basic foundation is something that should not be overlooked. Nowadays people are getting intimate with each other without actually knowing one another. Flings, one night stands and casual hooks ups are beginning to take over the idea of actually taking your time and building a life with one another. It goes back to me saying earlier, nobody actually wants to be emotionally invested anymore and casual hook ups are the easier option. People get into relationships without wanting to be emotionally attached and the possibility of being heart broken takes over the fact that something wonderful could eventually happen. We are constantly waiting for something to go wrong instead of thinking something could go right.
While chivalry certainly isn't dead, we must admit to ourselves that it has become increasingly scarce. Men being men and holding the door open or pulling out the chair for you has become so rare that when it does, its astonishing to find such an individual when in actual fact it should be a norm. It makes me wonder why something that should be so basic and fundamental has become so rare? We live in a world where pride has taken over. It isn't that chivalry is dead, it is because men are refusing to look like wimps and softies because of fear of rejection or fears of humiliation from peers. Most men think women don't appreciate an act of chivalry so they chose not to. This is also an issue. why do we do what we are naturally suppose to do in return for recognition? I don't think the problem is that women don't appreciate chivalry, women aren't used to it anymore. We live in a world where feminism is fast taking over and men are forgetting to be men.
One thing that is always niggling away at the back of my mind is why are we so afraid to let things be the way they are suppose to be? Why cant we just go with the flow and let things happen? Through my observations, something that repeatedly comes up over and over is doing a background check. We want to know all about someone before actually getting to know them. In reality it makes no sense but it is something most people do subconsciously. In most cases, before a first date has even happened we know so much about a person from every possible source apart from the actual person. Like the fast track queue at Thorpe park, we want to skip the getting to know each other stage whilst deceiving ourselves thinking we are getting to know each other. Social media also plays a big role in the dating world. We look for clues about a person based on what they post on Instagram or what they tweet and the kind of people they follow, thinking these clues will give us an insight as to who they are. What we fail to realise is social media is only a speck of the actual picture. We have made social media such a big deal in our lives and become so dependent on it, that we forget there is still a big wide world outside those double taps and tweet button or Facebook news feed. Truth is people only show you what they want you to see on social media. People can be anything or anyone they want so why do we take it as gospel? There is a new term in the dating world known as the "CRB". This is doing background research on a person, the same way an employer would for an employee before deciding whether they deserve a chance or not. Doesn't this just defeat the purpose?
There will never be a quick solution to love and dating but I do believe many old traditions need to surface again, If it worked back then, there's no reason why it shouldn't work now. Go on dates, ask more questions, leave social media alone and get rid of the "CRB" and who knows you might just find your Mr Big.
XO
While chivalry certainly isn't dead, we must admit to ourselves that it has become increasingly scarce. Men being men and holding the door open or pulling out the chair for you has become so rare that when it does, its astonishing to find such an individual when in actual fact it should be a norm. It makes me wonder why something that should be so basic and fundamental has become so rare? We live in a world where pride has taken over. It isn't that chivalry is dead, it is because men are refusing to look like wimps and softies because of fear of rejection or fears of humiliation from peers. Most men think women don't appreciate an act of chivalry so they chose not to. This is also an issue. why do we do what we are naturally suppose to do in return for recognition? I don't think the problem is that women don't appreciate chivalry, women aren't used to it anymore. We live in a world where feminism is fast taking over and men are forgetting to be men.
One thing that is always niggling away at the back of my mind is why are we so afraid to let things be the way they are suppose to be? Why cant we just go with the flow and let things happen? Through my observations, something that repeatedly comes up over and over is doing a background check. We want to know all about someone before actually getting to know them. In reality it makes no sense but it is something most people do subconsciously. In most cases, before a first date has even happened we know so much about a person from every possible source apart from the actual person. Like the fast track queue at Thorpe park, we want to skip the getting to know each other stage whilst deceiving ourselves thinking we are getting to know each other. Social media also plays a big role in the dating world. We look for clues about a person based on what they post on Instagram or what they tweet and the kind of people they follow, thinking these clues will give us an insight as to who they are. What we fail to realise is social media is only a speck of the actual picture. We have made social media such a big deal in our lives and become so dependent on it, that we forget there is still a big wide world outside those double taps and tweet button or Facebook news feed. Truth is people only show you what they want you to see on social media. People can be anything or anyone they want so why do we take it as gospel? There is a new term in the dating world known as the "CRB". This is doing background research on a person, the same way an employer would for an employee before deciding whether they deserve a chance or not. Doesn't this just defeat the purpose?
There will never be a quick solution to love and dating but I do believe many old traditions need to surface again, If it worked back then, there's no reason why it shouldn't work now. Go on dates, ask more questions, leave social media alone and get rid of the "CRB" and who knows you might just find your Mr Big.
XO
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)